Fleeting

you say you want to talk
but then don’t answer when I call
you say that you’re proud
but you never show up

are you saying these things
because it’s what you’re supposed to feel
even though you know deep inside
you don’t and never will

I’m trying to understand
have you ever really cared?
or do you regret me in your life
am I just a mistake

I’ve heard you say you love me
but it’s only words
fleeting and gone as you say them
you’re more concerned with others

I’ve always been second
I just wish for once you’d admit it
so I wouldn’t be told I’m overthinking it
so I wouldn’t feel this disappointing shame

Advertisements

Trust

who am I?
that amongst the mountains
the valleys and the trees
you see me.
You still call me yours
you long to be with me
and for me to draw closer to you.
Why do you want me?
what can I offer?
my hope is that I walk in your light
and make you proud
I feel unworthy
like you’ve made a mistake
I will trust that you know better
thank you for choosing me
I’m trying not to fail

 

Never Have

I want you to be happy
to be full of joy
never having to wonder
if I love you or if I don’t
I’ve heard your heartbeat
there from inside
keeping rhythm
already I’m trying to slow down time
to remember this
to remember you
to be thankful for who you already are
I know you’re beautiful
and I’m glad you are ours
you’ll never have to wonder
who you belong to

a broken man

I’m a broken man
I’ve worn down these hands
trying hard
to be the best I can
for you, for you
I’ll try my best for you
perfection will never be
but I’ll give it my best
trying to be proud
of the person staring back at me
you deserve the world
you deserve so much more
your gentle heart, your kind spirit
has changed me to my core
never change, except for one thing
see yourself the way I see you
love yourself more
you are beautiful, and you belong
yes, I’m a broken man
but for you, I will pick up these pieces
and overcome

Dorian

i fear what i’ve become
but how i love it so
never needing to know
the guilt and pain of my sin
it has been cast
onto another
an innocent soul i know nothing of
life is my pleasure
and i take what i please
relishing the dark beauty
that stares back at me
knowing i can have whatever i desire
judgement and innocence fleeting
everyday i find myself further from you
from who i was
and i am beautiful

to be whole

head swimming
with sickness
body aches from the same
feeling useless and tired
body shutting down
screaming at me to slow down
too much happened too fast
it made me cold
wanting to be useful
but knowing I need rest
so here I lay
in the dark with a pounding head
looking forward to the day
when I remember
what it felt like
to be whole again